The Grave Digger

I met a drunkard and
took pity.
Took him to the water hole. Let the horse drink. He told me

"Ya...Ya know... I...
The feeling.
The Stillness.
Soft dew on the grass... SIlence... in the night.

You still feel all the
mumbo jumbo
all the spiritual questions of
desecration... of religion
and ghosts as you dig into that sad, soft soil...

The fear...
gut deep drench of guilt and fear,
so tight like a suckerpunch, that
You KNOW.
Be it the laws or religions of it all
You're gonna have to pay for what you done. "

I left without paying his tab.

Untitled (union)

it is in these few fleeting moments

and in the way that I always open to a blank page

of how just your silhouettes

left my house. But as more

we’ve all shared

experienced.

The soft light gracing a shoulder

in a painting kind of way

having nothing to do with sex

or any bodily question

just the beauty of a moment

the times of experience

I love my friends. With a

trust that’s uncertain

but never absent.

For these moments of clarity.

Even though they would never understand

why I write this or what it means,

maybe just for that reason.

Because who cares.

And still, here they are.

THANK YOU

For keeping me sane some

times, otherwise I’d

have killed myself a long time

ago. Cause fuck this place.

and the misunderstanding of life.

Sometimes life is just

an unneeded aggravation. One

more fight, but here it is.

And I love being alive as much as I hate myself sometimes.

So that’s where it ends.

with just the fight.

with just the breathless experience.

Untitled.

This is your existence

don’t yourself be fooled

or let yourself be fooled by

those who would hope to

contain you

this is your existence

this is your trial and trivial tribulations

don’t feel uncertain about what might hope to be gained. we owe

you everything. and so goes in

an unspoken testimony, an

unsaid air about us to you. we

are proud that you, these people of whose vices we know not, have come to help us and make us stand

tall, strong, and loud about who we are and what it is we feel

and think

we do. we are so proud of all

of you as we hope you are proud

of us. in this light, you mean everything

this is our, of us and you, existence. and thank you.

Untitled.

I am the face of LUST.

I am the horn in each of the

four corners

leaving no retreat for safety

I am the twisted wicked smile.

That will drag you down & in.

in & down.

I am the drugs that will

distract your devotion

I am the unfaithful

I am lust

I am the sinful eyefuck.

I am the inviting wink to the contenders

I will let you in to let me in before I’m

ready to really try.

I am the sounds received

of complementing quotes in echoing ears.

repeating sweet virus’ into

the ear of the one you care for

I am the player

I am the stare that brings your

mate from you.

The stylish, controlling appearance

overwhelming those you wish to care for.

I infect with lust and remove you of

your affections and influence of emotions true

and you will hate me

because you know of love.

And what love is.

And the immediate necessity of my defeat. And you will hate me.

Because I reflect those from you

whom you give yourself to.

openly. and willingly. simply because

you know,

of the gentle softness

of love.

Gideon's Charlemagne

Leak this, the soiling facefuls

of what I’ve got

It’ll drip down you

It’ll run you

I’ll make you swim inside what I spit

You’ll drink me

every drop of me

I’ll make you lick it off yourself

I’m so thick

I taste so dedicated

And I myself, I soar

When I let you have it

Full Blast

When I push inside of you

everything that I have

You’ll taste me

and drink

it’s the fruit of the Gods

to me

to myself & I

obviously, to you.

Singing Children's Golden Voices

Children born

rusted and flaking hair

dripping the face of god

breathless from the atrophy

Ice Angel

Yes. Yes there is worry.

If in one soft palm you timidly held

the only REAL angel,

made of ice, over a hollow fire,

You’d worry too.

Proper Man

A good man, strong man, solid, proud man is a thinking man.

He thinks, and spends much of his time lost in a world like this one, only extrapolated off into its virtues and vices.

He takes long stares off into the void and lets his mind just go loftily into the emptiness, knowing full well the full bear it has to give.

A good man doesn't have much, in the way of the world.

Its often a man like this left to live longing and low like the pauper or the clown.

He doesn't spend his time in pursuit of the riches that we can touch, what little he chases might often wind up the riches to be drunk.

And why not? What lofty ambitions these fools do miss as the nights cool air rides high above the fog. To go there, to seek it, to breathe it in pure and fresh and clean. To drink merry, be Rosy, meet a sweet young lady and dime.

A good man leaves her in the morning, knowing full well the awful circle of woe that beseeches him, all good men and faith, simply by nature of the two types chasing.

Knowing not what would come but only what might have been, it is a safer place, safer then the hard and harsh of it all. The reality he ponders in long stares into the void.

A proper man, that one. Fit.

Shit man, they don't know the half of it.

Can I just explain once and for all the truth about global warming, how and why? Please, for the love of mankind and sanity (or lack thereof)

People are confused by the whole Copenhagen summit and "climate gate".

Allow me to clarify.

I can't promise the grammar or spelling on this as I'm writing it in bits and pieces while at work... bear with me. It's not hard to follow.

This information can be found on your own, but I will provide it here including where to gain access to this material afterward to further help you understand the totality of this world that we are living in.

To start off, I'm going to put a very bitter pill in your mouth. Are you ready?

It doesn't matter what you do, or who you are, unless you are one of the upscale elite, wealthy, influential people of the world, you don't matter. To anyone or in anyway that the world is being shaped and formed, to the people creating policy, to those making billions, you do not matter.

Allow me to explain why all the memorable moments, insights, and important intelligence you have hard earned through your life is of no value to the big big world out there... at least, not to anyone that counts.

When we first were visiting Saudi Arabia as friends economically and politically, we gave them an offer they couldn't refuse. It is an offer many have been given by our country and government "acting on our behalf as people" through the ages. More on that in a moment. We sent out top advisers, one in particular that can prove and has proven the merit of this entire account, to negotiate.

Unofficially working for the American government, but officially paid for and completely interlaced with said government, this mans job was to say to the Saudi royalty, in paraphrase:

"Hey, would you like Saudi Arabia to be a modern country? With all the amenities? Sewers, working water, roads, telephone lines, buildings, infrastructure, the ability to live well?"

"But of course" reasonably said the Saudis.

"Take a look at these charts, the studies, the numbers we have researched to illustrate how much money you will make after you have become modernized thanks to the influx of tourism, economy, trading, and all that comes with it. It will cost you (insert number here) to build it. (lets call it 30 billion dollars, enough to buy anything)

"But we do not have 30 Billion dollars, but of course we want to make these improvements for our people, and to build a return profit with the new economy we will have made possible." say the Saudis.

"Not a problem my friends, we will loan you the money, from America, all you have to do is sign contracts on the load guaranteeing that you will assign the work to American companies."

"Wonderful! lets do it!" They all cry.

So America loans $30 billion dollars to Saudi Arabia, who then hands the money right back to us to pay for all our companies to fly over there and build all this new technology and update the entire system with roads, etc...

Now a few years down the road, we come to Saudi Arabia and say, "Hey, remember the $30 billion dollars we loaned you? We need that back, we're calling in our debts."

And the Saudis have no choice, they say "But, we haven't made as much money as we thought we would, we were expecting to make so much more profit from being modern, we simply don't have the money."

To which America, who previously was the "unofficial" power behind this deal, now officially declares with all its might "We loaned you $30 billion dollars, if you don't have it, you're going to give us a third of your countries oil production from now on."

To which the Saudis have no recourse, and agree, with a grumbling "Son of a bitch."

Where the dupe comes in, is that the "unofficial" official sent in the first place was a ringer. His entire job is to falsify data, to fake reports to invent a situation that doesn't exist. Saudi Arabia could never make as much money as they were told they would, and so from the get go they were trapped, and duped, and would end up giving us what we wanted all along. Them in our political pocket, and their oil.

Now, why does this make sense to the "ClimateGate" and Copenhagen issue regarding climate change?

Because you don't matter. At least, not anymore. Before, America was doing this kind of tactic (repeatedly, you would think they would update the play book) all over the world. This is why a few key countries arduently hate us at the moment, as we tried this plan with them as well to enslave them as a country both politically and economically while also assassinating their leader. We failed. We failed with this plan in Iraq as well (hint hint, why are we there in a war now? Didn't quite get what we want, did we. Lets just go take it.) We failed in quite a few places.

Now, at last, and very un-secretively, they are doing it to us, to America, their own people. They have decided that we as a population count as much as "the other guys". The other countries, the other teams. Born to believe that Americans are all united by their freedom and thus patriotism lives on, the very heads of the pack don't see us as any more American then a used up firework. The only thing American anymore to those in power is money, because that is all they have chased for so long. So when the captains of the ship say "we are money, and we want money", it no longer matters if they have to take it from other ships, if the only place left is their own hull, they will plunder their own crew, sink the ship, and go buy a new boat.

The hacked emails regarding climate change exposed and made viral the nature of our governments actions. It is hard to tell whether they are right or wrong, that we as a mass of people need to be forced and tricked into doing what is in the end the "best for us" by going green. But in short, the government turned its tricks on its own population.

By falsifying the reports about global warming on a massive scale and by inputting false data to create unrealistic, completely fabricated numbers at the end, the government did to us what they did to Saudi Arabia. They falsified data to make us say "Yes, of course we want to go green! We want to have renewable energy and be able to survive! We'd be crazy not to!"

But here is the snag... to create all this technology, a company has to have a way to profit. If (and this exists) the company that owns the patent to pantyhose for women that never run, and everyone bought a pair of pantyhose that would never tear, then eventually no one would need to buy pantyhose anymore and that company would go out of business, along with all the other companies that went under because they only had the old pantyhose that would get runs in them. And then no ones making, what is it folks? Money.

This is holding onto an old way of living. People want to be rich so they have more then everyone else, because that luxury is obviously way way better then your average, say, life like mine working two jobs and making just over 8,000 a year. (no, I'm not uneducated, I just got signed to a record label that folded and washed out ten years of my work and growth. Catch up is a bitch :-).) But here in lies the problem, with renewable energy we could all live better, happier, cleaner, safer, more efficient, and would suddenly open doors to new possibilities of engineering, robotics, you name it based on free and infinitely renewable energy... who needs more money then everyone else when the accessible-to-all-quality of life has gone higher and higher on its own by responsible investing, invention, and growth for the betterment of mankind?

Any who, that's my opinion. But back to the facts...

American energy needed a way to keep making money for all its companies, a way to keep the huge corporations happy and playing ball. So they falsified reports saying global warming was happening, made us all beg for new renewable green energy, and then once it was all underway, we were so under the spell of "save us from ourselves", that they invented the carbon tax.

There it is, the answer... the carbon tax. How do you keep making money off of people when you have given them energy they don't have to pay for? You invent a report saying that the world is heating up, because of our emissions, and that if we continue to use the things we are used to the way we are used to, we have to pay a tax on it.

Even green energy will create some, although less, carbon emissions. And for that, we as users will have to pay taxes on those emissions. Instead of paying your electrical bill, you are going to be paying your tiny electrical bill plus your carbon emissions bill. (It should unnerve some that a task force was underway that resembled the IRS in a way, that could come into your home like a swat team and check your levels, no warrant necessary.)

All this is well and good, sure eep the machine rolling, at least now its clean and we wont destroy ourselves and our planet, right?

Well... kind of.

These huge oil companies have so much money, and electric and car companies, down the line, and they are used to making that much money. Also, our economy depends on it, these create a thriving place to live. There is big money in the cost of powering society in the richest nation in the world. Those companies wouldn't dream of giving up their incomes, unless the government created a way for them to continue being paid. They are being paid for nothing at that point, essentially making money off free renewable energy... like charging for bottled water (ha, oops on us.)

And when a company that big says, no we wont play ball unless we make money, the American Government flexes its muscles saying you have to, we make the rules here. And the companies say, "Well, we don't care about you or your rules, or that American people that have created this successful business, created the environment in which it has been able to grow, and we don't care about you. We care about our profit margin, so we're going over seas if we don't get what we want."

And the American government is tied down with handcuffs on, because the main big companies have become so large that they are a substantial part of our economy. So when they say they want to bail and go overseas, the government retracts all it rules, all it warnings, all its restrictions and say "No no no, stay stay we're sorry we'll figure something out to make you happy."

Thus, corporation America takes over the government. Government no longer creates laws and rules for the people, but instead for the impossible for the average man or woman to catch up to wealthy companies so that they don't go overseas. Our country is now run by a corporate agenda, not by an agenda of what is right or wrong for the people of the country, the people of the world, or the direction of us as a collective group of human beings all floating together on planet earth. Instead, it boils down to the government lying about information on reports to invent a situation that allows for the private companies that are rich enough to control the government due to their impact on the economy to continue to profit and stay rich on the future free and renewable energy.

Tell me, how in anyway does that fit you into the equation?

How does your vote, or your desires for the world we live in, fit into that reality in which we live?

It doesn't matter. Because on the scope of what you just learned, quite evidently, to them, to the officials we elected (or didn't), to the companies that are in control, YOU don't matter.


I suggest we all start forcing them through any means necessary to make them rethink that equation.

-C


I invite you to learn what I learned when I was about nineteen years old and had that hidden knowledge burnt into my heart and minds eye since birth. That something around me, everywhere, is in a ruling class way, very wrong. And that it has been growing in a mushroom shape, the richest being the mushroom cap, getting bigger and bigger, until now all that is left is roots, the stem too thin to hold the cap, breaking the stem (middle class, duh I think) and crushing the roots. What the upper crust of the world doesn't get, because they are blinded by a denial, they they are human, that they will die, and their children will die, and children's children, and none of them can take the money with them, and the think that somehow it is helping them to live better. I beg to differ.

Read my first head turner, The genealogy of morals. :-P

Then read "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" by John Perkins. The book that made everything else so easily make sense.

I don't use the old myspace much anymore... hello 2010

Lets be honest after all, Myspace has become all but overridden with hackers and spammers pumping their gross products. Once a company is bought out like that it is inflated until it bursts and then it is deflated sucking every penny nickel and dime out that it can.

Think, just think, of what a huge moment it actually is going to be when all of that humanity, all of that thought and taste and decisions and life that has been captured in digital essence is taken down in one foul swoop. Call it what you want, a bunch of trash, a bunch of crappy bands, a bunch of really young people all not accepting friend requests from bands because most of them are... well... a bunch or audio trash. But most of use grew up a bit using myspace. Who can forget the time in their youth when it became a prevalent fact that suddenly, you were choosing to do things in front of everyone. So young relationships were more turbulent then ever, like high school went home with you. Girls caught boys cheating, boys caught girls cheating, even before they actually physically touched.

And god what about farther then that? What about the amazing artists and poets out there that spilled onto the first blog pages of myspace? What about those last words that someone decided to write about themselves, their lives, their sadness, to anyone that would read or care, before they took it all away from themselves... and they did it on myspace in front of everyone. What about the love that humanity also gushed. The imperfect perfection that is chaos. No, I take that back. I don't believe that perfect imperfection is a good description of us as a species. Imperfect, certainly, but not a perfect representation of imperfection. We strive, mostly against ourselves and our own limited natures and knowledge, to find the best that we can in our lives. It's not always noble as I like to hope it should be and can be. It's not always good, or bad, or black and white, but god dammit do we try.

In 2010, I don't see myself using myspace much anymore. Maybe only as a music player. I use Fbook, and Twitter, and even those I only got "heavily" ...eh... into because of starting "New Romans" and teaching myself how to network social sites together.

So it remains to seen that what I am saying will be proven true, but replace the word myspace with facebook, or twitter, or whatever you like. These are just the platforms with which we as people are now utilizing our technologies ability with to let us communicate to one another. So lets not forget that, that that is what we are actually doing. This is not just going out to the ether, this information that we create is going out to us, people. And all those bazillion web pages out there full of detailed information... that is all for you... for now. So use it while you can.

I watched 500 days of Summer earlier tonight. I enjoyed it. But I have to say, that in my life my relationships have hardly ever been even close to perfect. But god dammit did I try. If when I was 21 and dating Abby, "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind" left the two of us in silence in the theater long after it was over, aching at how truthfully it was our lives at that moment, then "500 Days of Summer" was my relationship with Giuliana, some scenes were photographs of my life put to motion. I take the opening quote to heart, for having never been so shattered in my life. It's something that try as I might, I will never get over fully, will never forget, will never be able to stop thinking about as hard as I've tried. Because it's in my nature. Because I am human. Because I am imperfect.

When all of this is swallowed up, and all this tech is gone because we can no longer power it, all of this vital information will be gone with it, swallowed onto servers somewhere that will power down with a fuzzy hum as the lights to the planet flicker on and off...

We offer a snapshot of our lives to the future here with what we do, every second of it. Sometimes I live in the present, but much more often I live in the truth. And that is not always, in fact hardly ever, sitting right here. It's buried, behind the leaves in the sunlight that you stare through and relax at the peak, behind the words in the papers and in the pain in people's voices... the pain in their words. Behind the love that we feel on the best days with the best people. That is where I find the truth.

In my lovers eyes. In the lines on my hands. In knowing the future that is coming our way. Oh yes, myspace is gone, I almost giggle in anticipation. It is not enjoyment that I laugh to, but that of a fevered dream gone from your mind as you wake in a sweat, only to find it's mind bending reality still exists in your room just above the sheets.

The world has past the tipping point of peak oil. We are now going down the slope of how much exists on the planet, heading to zero. Seven gallons of oil in each car tire, hundreds in the doors and roof, thousands in the machinery to make them, more in the factory that makes the parts of the machines, more in the metal in the machines that were used to hand tool those machines, more in the walls, the metal and the alloy, the trucks, the copper wiring, the electrical tubing, beyond all man made things into the nature of man's apparatus, into the fertilizer made with petroleum's, the pesticides make from petroleum, into the soil that we have sprayed chemically to replace the worn out soil due to not rotating crops and pressing nature past its capability, to the planes that fly over the fields, to the spray that it washes the plants and soil with...

To the computer I am using right now... the satellites that are bouncing the signals... the power factories walls, components, chips, wires, and engines themselves powering the satellites, my lights, my home, your home.... all are based on oil. Thats the part rarely considered and that most don't bring up. Think of jsut the amount of telephone wires on the planet, think about the amount of plastics on the planet, made every day... how much oil that is. Think about Saudia Arabia having a third of the planets oil... and the fact that they are searching wildly for new reserves elsewhere now. That all the oil in Alaska at once would only power the world for 11 days. That all the deep sea oil costs often more energy then it makes, instantly making it worthless. That if corn were to be used for fuel, it would take more energy to make then it produces, and to supply us it would take every plantable foot available everywhere to to be a large enough amount of fuel.

I quote... "Nothing will replace the edifice that we have created with oil..."

its the truth.

So please, as sad as it is to hear the cry of us all, digitally and physically, go up in collective woe and agony, rejoice... in the incredible new type of life we are about to receive...

That of the local community, the local food growth, the seeds and gardens, the families and relying on one another.

I wish I was as nuts as it all can sound, as it all seems. But please, let me guide you at least once so you might have an idea.

Read the first book I ever got turned on by. "Confessions of an Economic Hitman". Then understand its been true for a long time. Understand then why we are being lied to into agreeing to be taxed on carbon emissions that do not exist in nearly as substantial numbers as proposed, so that we can pay for our new renewable free energy and selfish greedy people can stay rich...

Watch the films Zeitgeist, throw away the wash you can't swallow but take in the principle...

Read Robert Anton Wilson, David Icke, Deepak Chompra, DMT: the spirit molecule, simply type into youtube "the tenth dimension" and spend an hour hopping around fascinating videos until you find what is really there.... while you still can

watch the film "Collapse" online for free...

if anyone did even half of what I suggested their whole world, the universe, could open up to them.

I am not saying that I have your answers, but I am saying they are out there. Let me give you a nudge, to help show you the way.

I don't use myspace much anymore. Because there is too much life to live in the real world. But I do use these tool, while I have them, here in 2010, to help do my part to make sure that each and every single one of you loving creatures at least has the chance... the option.. to know that there is a difference out there, that something is changing, that something is happening and we are in it now and yes we even will be at Dec 21, 2012, but we will be after it. It is all happening... right now... can't you feel it? Can't anyone else feel this?

Because I love you, you've got to get prepared.

Happy New Year. There will be many more to come.